Veronica Vera Writes

My current thoughts on human sexuality and gender; a look back at my sex journalism from the 1980’s and beyond; people, places and events of the ongoing sexual evolution.

Sadie, Sadie!

Published: Reading Time: 3 minutes
Veronica and Stu get engaged, 2011
Veronica and Stu get engaged, 2011


Dear Ones,

I’m happy to announce that Stu Cottingham and I are engaged to be married. Stu popped the question at dinner on the eve of my November 1 birthday. Even though we’ve been talking about getting married, even though my birthday wish was that he would pop the question, even though he arrived at my apartment wearing a suit and tie!! his proposal took me COMPLETELY by surprise.

It was Halloween night. When Stu arrived at my apartment, I was a scary witch, literally. I like to dress up a bit when the neighbor kids come to collect. I spooked myself up in white face, zombied out black eyes, blood dripping from the sides of my mouth and topped it all off with a very realistic witch’s hat. I thought it would be fun to go out that way and join the rest of the scary set and Stu said, “Whatever you want, Honey.”

On my errands that afternoon, I found a mustache, goatee and eyebrows in a dollar store. For $1.29, I figured it was worth the investment. With very little encouragement, Stu put on the goatee and mustache (the eyebrows fell apart) and off we went, little did I know to meet up with destiny.

At dinner we celebrated our four years together. Stu said he was really happy with our relationship and liked things as they are. Hmmm. What does that mean, I wondered.

The other parts of the restaurant –  upstairs dining room and bar were pretty raucous, but we had opted to sit in the lovely, sparkly, enclosed garden and now there was only one other couple in the place. Soon, we had the whole place to ourselves. I began to think about things I would like to do with Stu and travel came to mind. I started mentioning the places I’d like to visit with him. I’d been reading about the Mississippi River, so I said a riverboat on the Mississippi, and Hawaii (Club 90) and San Francisco and Amsterdam (Xaviera and Phillip), and London, just ‘cause it’s London. Stu got up from his chair. I realized he was getting down on one knee, he pulled a small box out of his pocket. I was seeing all of this in slow motion. He said, 

“I want to visit those places with you, too, Veronica, but I’d like to do it with you as my wife. Will you marry me?”

I was in shock, I said YES, we kissed, I cried. The waiter brought more wine. We asked him to take the blurry photo above. You can be sure we’ll have better shots our June wedding (exact date tba). The ring is beautiful. Three flowers made from 19 tiny diamonds, a lovely, sparkly bouquet. Perfect. Stu’s career change makes me very happy because I am not marrying a frustrated front desk supervisor, I’m marrying a liberated artist. YEAH!!!!

When we got home, Stu said all of the things I wanted to hear. All of the things I had hoped to hear, things that let me know he had given this much thought. He said he wanted to show his commitment because I’m so terrific and I deserve it. I am so happy and proud of him. He held me in his arms and said, “I’ve got you now, Veronica.” We’ve got each other.

November 1 is not only my birthday and All Saints’ Day, it is Samhain, the Celtic New Year’s day. What better way to begin.